About the Murder Hornets

Look in my defence this is my first job. I shouldn’t even be on this assignment, and to be completely honest a lot of time travel is like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks. I knew there was a shortage of PPE in the US so as soon I arrived I hacked the delivery itinerary of a large cargo ship exiting out of Japan carrying all sorts of medical equipment. The consequence map I received said that the original destination was a part of Taiwan that was already well stocked, and therefore would not be detrimentally impacted. What I didn’t realize was that the cargo ship I picked was part of a relatively shady outfit, and in addition to 15 containers of masks, gloves, medical gowns etc. among other things it hid: 1 container of semi-automatic weapons, 2 containers setup for potential human trafficking, 3 containers full of sex toys (I don’t even know how you sell that much “equipment”), and one, ONE friggin container left mostly empty except for a hive of absolutely pissed off hornets that covertly setup shop while the ship was docked. So let me take a step back. K.A.R.E.N has made multiple efforts in the past to contain Vespa Mandarinia (aka the Giant Asian Hornet aka Murder Hornets aka Psycho Flying Bastard Kill Machines) to southeast Asia, and specifically Japan. I mean these people took on Godzilla for fucks sake and survived. They can handle some bugs. By the way Godzilla is totally real. We’ve had to go back and prevent his rampages so many times that he’s now somehow embedded in the human psyche, and we make movies about him. It’s another time travelish thing I don’t completely understand yet. Anyway I forged all the delivery requests so things could get distributed. I called the police regarding the trafficking containers and guns. I don’t even remember where I sent the sex toys honestly. Somebody’s grandma probably got one hell of a surprise. Just when she was waiting for that new crock pot to come in from Amazon BOOM a thousand dildos in the driveway. Did I mention I really shouldn’t be responsible for this year? Then I saw the alerts come in regarding the hornets. All it took was one pesky queen to go sightseeing off of the ship. Now some of you might say “big deal” they’re ugly bugs with a scary name. We can handle it. But let me tell you that if not kept in check they devastate ecosystems. Bees are a huge part of agriculture. I’m not being dramatic when I say with out their bumbling little asses cross pollinating plants our food supply will collapse. Believe me I’ve seen the consequence map. Humanity first turns into obligate carnivores then resorts to cannibalism. Many a vegan dies in this scenario, and not due to malnourishment. Let’s just say a “vegan burger” takes on a whole new meaning in this dark reality. Japanese honeybees figured out a method to combat them a long time ago. Dozens of bees swarm the hornet in a giant “bee ball”, and the heat generated from them literally cooks the hornet alive. This basically makes Japanese bees the tiny samurais of the insect kingdom. European/American bees on the other hand have no defense. One murder hornet can eviscerate an entire hive in under fifteen minutes. They just plow through hives like it’s their job and they're late for a pedicure appointment. Decapitation is their most common method of murder. Originally they were named Vespa Sphincterus or the “Asshole Hornet” but apparently it wasn’t descriptive enough. At this point I have to file for a “Readjustment”, or what’s commonly called a “mop up” request. It means I have to get sent back in time again at a slightly earlier date before my current incarnation of 2020 is mucking around with the timeline. Which means there will be 2 of me in 2020 which is really weird and I don’t want to think about it. There’s a couple of scenarios and K.A.R.E.N pretty much leaves it up to the agent as to how to handle it. You can either confront yourself in the timeline and say “Hey here’s how you’re going to screw this up let’s fix it.” Or you could covertly just fix the problem without your other self knowing. Because quite frankly I’m mentally fragile right now, and didn’t want to meet my other self I went with the latter. So under the cloak of night I set fire to the container containing the hornets a day before I was to originally arrive in 2020. So YAY! No more murder hornets guys! The only ones that made it to America were already toasted. Sorry about that. I’m still kinda learning on the job here. I already mitigated the threat from the Space Raptors so I hope you can cut me some slack.