The kudzu plant originally from Asia was introduced to American in the South on 1883 at the New Orleans Exposition. Due to it's fast paced growth and ability to provide wide coverage the vine was pushed both as a means to prevent soil erosion, and as a pretty plant to use as shade for porches. That meant during the time all these Kentucky Fried Chicken Colonel looking motherfuckers could sit on said porch, and drink their mint juleps in comfort while watching their slaves sweat their asses off in the fields. Kudzu: America's first actually racist plant.
When a wave of boll weevil infestations hit southern crops hard (we tried to stop that twice to no avail) they ended the practice of controlling the plant's growth. With no one to actively tame it kudzu become known as "the plant that consumed the South". It's invasive. It expands rapidly. And it chokes the living hell out of any other vegetation in it's wake.
So please don't plant those dumb seeds you're getting in the mail until I can fix this.
It does extremely well in warm weather which is why they're being sent to you during the Summer. Also this isn't just kudzu. It's weapon's grade super kudzu genetically engineered at a foreign lab somewhere in southeast Asia that we haven't been able to pinpoint yet. How much damage can this horrible plant do? They showed us a public service announcement from a timeline where many a dumb ass planted said seeds called "Super Kudzu: The Pet Strangler". I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
Why do you people do this? I mean some wacky evil scientist distributing seeds around the world as some sort of lame eco-terrorist plot to unleash a green plague is bad enough, but then you plant them? Sometimes I wonder if you people are worth saving. Somebody please take 2020 off my hands I don't want to work here anymore.
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